Thursday, November 20, 2014

Back on the Saddle.

Wow, it's been a while since I've done anything with this blog. Where to begin?

Let's start with my break from painting

I took a hiatus from the brush for about an year and a half of, and tried to write a novel. That's right, I tried to write a god-damned epic fantasy, and discovered just how bad I am at this writing thing, I picked up a few things along the way. The most important of them was  a vision of a world that was much bigger than I first anticipated. The world of Wizard's Wrath gave me a medium with which to explore my personal mythology and  Thelemic philosophy. It gave me places, characters and stories that are already showing in my esoteric paintings.

Then, though a friend, Lisa got a place in Atlantic Highlands reading tarot cards and suddenly I had a place to show my work. Hearing the positive feedback from the people around me, I got me psyched about painting again. Does it make me weak-willed that I need external validation for my artwork? It's a question I often ask myself, and the answer always changes. Anyway, it worked and I'm back on the saddle, eager to see my vision through.

There is just one little problem. Is my vision so crytic and heavy that people won't care about my work?

My tarot paintings are loaded with hermetic and alchemical symbolism. As Lisa repeatedly points it out, the average person who looks at my work has no clue what it means. I just had my first show since graduation at the AJ Dillon Gallery. It was a success in as much as there were a lot of people at the opening, I got a great overall reaction, and I sold one of my large paintings. I should be over the rainbow, right? Except that it was the conceptually simple Dusk of the Dead that sold and had most people talking. Folks generally didn't get my heavier work. I could speculate at length about it, but my friends and family suggest I "bring people to my level" in a more gentle manner, with more relatable paintings. I have conflicting opinions on this. I haven't exactly figured out a golden formula yet, but that is precisely what I had hopped to do in my tarot related work. I wanted to take the harsh and wonderful Thoth deck and make it more accessible to the people. How realistic is it that I should succeed in my first try?

To remedy this disconnect between my grand vision and the real world, I'm starting something new. I'm planning a series of paintings based on the side of pop culture I love: Gaming. There is something odd about coming full circle back to my senior thesis from undergrad. With my spiritual worldview so completely turned from what it was in 2005, I know I'm going to rock it way better than I did then. I'm not, by any stretch of the imagination, giving up on my vision. What I am doing is coming to terms with it's lack of commercial appeal, and coming up with a new line of paintings that strike the middle ground so as to fund great works like Fortune.



Dusk of the Dead 42''x56'' oil on canvas, 2009





Fortune oil on canvas 42’’ x 56’’ work in progress.



Thursday, September 1, 2011

Light as a Medium.

I had two abstract episodic dreams, the night before about writing and this one on painting. TI spent the day before reading Setphen King's On Writing and yesterday painting Alden's picture walking the dogs. The first was nearly impossible to describe. I was “painting” characters with the Wacom pen on the tabled, but words were coming out representing particular characters, some were better developed than others based on my skill and some elusive element -more on that later. The second dream took place in the same beige/raw umber background, but this time I was painting portraits with soft light as a medium. The characters I fussed over were obviously inferior to the ones that loaded with paint and brushstrokes.

I made the connection as soon as I woke up, both dreams were about painting with light, letting characters gradually emerge from the shadows with a gentle light, allowing round edges to fade into the darkness. For writing this means allowing some mystery to cloud a person's aspects, not showing too much as an illustrator would, but letting the reader fill in the rest with the gentle light of imagination.

I'm sure there is a greater spiritual meaning about painting and writing with light instead of paint and words. In crafting a world, the medium should fade away, not get in the way. If reality was poorly crafted with verbose sentences and sloppy brushstrokes we'd all be in nirvana and existence would collapse.

I've mentioned the word "letting" many times in this entry, that says a lot about my overbearing creativity, I'm a control freak. Skill can only bring me so far then I have to let it go and let art take a life of its own. Its the same as the pursuit of power through magick, the greater the attainment, the more you lose the ego. The ultimate attainment is Godhood, at that level the work of art is existence itself with infinite possibilities.

So the moral of the story is: Even God lets go and creation flourishes in the gentle light of the Sun, why should I be any different?

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Artist Statement Expanded

I am a narrative figurative painter, my work is often mystically charged with symbolism that attempts to tap into the archetypes in humanity's collective unconscious. In doing so, my aim is to subtly evoke mass appeal in my work without compromising my individual artistic vision.

While this sounds as though there is one universal formula for aesthetic experience of my work, it's not so simple. This elusive aesthetic experience is highly subjective, based on individual life experience and cultural upbringing. Its the reason why something like listening to Mahler's 8th symphony may move one person to tears and another to be simply bored to tears. To make matters worse, the human mind likes to identify itself as the sole identity of the individual as reflected in the words “I think therefore I am” The mind is a metaphorical watch-dog by which it believes that all sensual experience should be measured and judged by. It triggers responses like “should I like this?” In a modern society where rationality is so prized, an emotional or intuitive response to art may be often road-blocked by reason, effectively trapping it's beauty within the confines of its high tower. This trend can become downright unhealthy if the mind also blocks the natural flow of the irrational unconscious upon our rational consciousness.

Suppose you were to cross this barrier of conscious thought, you'd be flooded by rich dream imagery filled with personal meaning to the individual's life experience. However, venture far enough in the underworld of the unconscious and you will eventually arrive at what Carl Jung termed collective unconscious, a dream-scape of inherited collective memories of our species. Its a place where ancient shamans and priests were expected to be initiated into, delve into madness, face our archetypes, then return to our world enlightened. Its where the average person unwittingly becomes trapped into in a state of psychosis, unequipped to swim back out of this terrifying place where our collective gods, angels and demons reside. It's common visual metaphors are documented in all cultures in the form of universal themes within the human mythos. This is the language that artists, poets and musicians must master – consciously or intuitively, in order for their work to transcend the abyss of meaninglessness and reach the eternal, communicating esoteric truths about the human spirit across generations of human evolution.

The question still remains, how does one transcend the barriers of rational discrimination? In ancient Greek myth, Hermes, on his descent to the underworld to rescue Persephone, was said to have had to distract the three-headed hound Cerberus with honey cakes in order to move on to deeper realms. The honey cake is a metaphor for the artist's display of technical mastery and virtuosity at his particular medium, the means to satisfy the intellectual demands of our ever evolving brains. Its as though the artist must play the role of a snake charmer in order to communicate the ineffable. Its my firm belief that the success of visual stimuli upon the viewer depends on how much the art penetrates the conscious mind and resonates with the unconscious hidden truths about the Self. This is the place where the the seemingly opposites in the realm of rational thought converge harmoniously, transcending reason altogether, the house of Beauty.

Extending the dialogue of human experience across lifetimes is an important facet of my work, as such I've chosen the traditional medium of oil paint on linen. The academic foundation to my technique allows me to depict contemporary subjects in a visual language that appears timeless. The journey into this cycle of paintings began with Nativity in Black, where I used an archetypal Stephen King antagonist as a starting point to a narrative arch within my own work. I began to tap into an allegory I had not yet fully understood, so I continued to paint on intuition while studying the actual symbolic language that was to be the defining mark of work. I extended the narrative into Dusk of the Dead where I found an opportunity to express the general mood of America in the 2008 economic collapse using the modern zombie myth as a metaphor. At the final stages of Dusk I worked on Black Rose Immortal, where I was better able to express esoteric principles in a veiled manner. I was drawing a corresponding line between musical counterpoint and the arabesque form seen in all organic life and accentuated in great works of art. This charcoal drawing was named after a song by Swedish metal band Opeth, the composition of the still life was a mirror image of the 13th guitar riff in the actual song. There is more within the drawing, but this covers it's surface meaning.

Music had become a major source of inspiration for my work, so I continued to channel its influence in my next pieces. Paint it Black was borne out of an anguished self-portrait and morphed into an invocation of the Greek god of the underworld – Hades. It depicts spring as Persephone leaves the underworld to bring life into our world leaving Hades to his own personal winter. The separation of masculine and feminine forms is obvious in the composition. The Apostle in Triumph is yet another painting named after a song. The Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn called this archetype Magus of the Voice of Light. I like that name, yet I gave it a name that implies one's attainment to enlightenment to be a movement upwards. The Hermit is in fact descending into our world from above, therefore its a veiled invocation of supreme consciousness -Veni Creator Spiritus. This was an intentional paradox so that the painting is open to interpretation based on the individual's point of view, the resolution between “aboveness” and “belowness” is a mystery to be understood only by individual experience. On a psychoanalytical level this painting shows how we can harness inner light to expose the chaotic hidden forces in the enchanted forest of our unconscious. Only then can we gain any level of self-actualization.

In The Truth I turned my attention back to my own past and expressed the pain of the soul crushed by organized indoctrination, while still hinting at individual free-will. Using the more sophisticated occult symbolism harvested from my studies, I've embarked on a project inspired by Aleister Crowley and Frida Harris' Thoth Tarot. This project currently under progress attempts to bring together mysticism, Jungian psychology and modern science in the language of figurative art. The aim of this titanic undertaking is to depict Truth veiled in Beauty beyond duality. The paintings included are the first in my own future deck, but more importantly, they are studies for future larger, life-size paintings.

After years of personal turmoil, solitude and a spiritual transition from a repressive background, I've realized this thesis. My ultimate motivation for painting is to offer humanity something I've not yet seen, a point of view that needs to exist, Art's own unified field theory.


---As edited by Chris----

I am a narrative figurative painter. My work is charged with mystic symbolism tapping into the archetypes of humanity's collective unconscious. My aim is to evoke mass appeal without compromising my artistic vision.

The human mind finds its identity utilizing Cartesean dualism with the maxim “Cogito ergo sum”. Each individual in the audience's aesthetics are defined by their culture and experiences forcing them to ask “Should I like this?” Emotion, not reason rules in the visual arts affecting the viewer on a visceral level which is kept in check by reason and the solar logos. I strive to connect with them on a subconscious level by summoning up rich dream imagery eliciting personal meaning colored by their soul and tapping into Jung's collective unconscious. A place of madness and magickal archetypes which give new perspective in the empirical world. The language of artists, musicians and poets are drawn from this resevoir. Using the same language with different syntax, i.e. their medium, the great work acquires significance which transcends the ages.

An artist must play the role of psychopomp (conductor of souls, delete this parenthetical thought) to capture attention. Rapt, they see form given to the formless with new venues and vistas laying open to their third eye which speaks directly to the heart. The success of visual stimuli upon the viewer depends on how deeply the artist transcends the conscious mind and achieves beauty.

The importance of extending the dialogue of human experience across lifetimes helped me choose the traditional medium of oil paint on linen. The academic foundation to my technique allows me to depict contemporary subjects with timeless visual language. The journey into this cycle of paintings began with Nativity in Black where I used an archetypal Stephen King antagonist as a starting point to a narrative arc. Working from intuition I incorporated symbolic language which defined the piece. The story of Dusk of the Dead captures the general mood of America during the 2008 economic collapse using the modern zombie myth as a framework. During the final stages of Dusk I began Black Rose Immortal which best expressed subtle, esoteric principles drawing correspondences between musical counterpoint and arabesque forms found in life and honored in fine art.

Music is a major source of inspiration for my work. I continue to channel its influence in each successive piece. Paint it Black was borne out of an anguished self-portrait morphing into an invocation of Hades. Depicting the myth of Persephone as she leaves the underworld returning life to the mortal realm as her consort suffers his personal winter of the soul. The Apostle in Triumph's title reflects the title of a favorite song. The Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn called this archetype Magus of the Voice of Light. I like that name and I gave it a name that implies one's attainment to enlightenment to ascendancy. The Hermit is in fact descending into our world from above, therefore its a veiled invocation of supreme consciousness -Veni Creator Spiritus. An intentional paradox so the painting is open to interpretation that plays with the witnesses. The resolution between “aboveness” and “belowness” is a mystery to be understood with dream logic. On a psychoanalytical level this painting shows how to harness inner light exposing the chaotic hidden forces in the enchanted forest of our unconscious. Only then can one acquire any level of self-actualization.

In The Truth I turned my attention back to my own past and expressed the pain of the soul crushed by organized indoctrination hinting at individual free-will. Using the sophisticated occult symbolism harvested from my studies I've embarked on a project inspired by Aleister Crowley and Frida Harris' Thoth Tarot. This project will bring together mysticism, Jungian psychology and modern science using the language of figurative art. My aim of this opus is to depict Truth veiled in Beauty beyond duality. The paintings included are the first in my future deck and will serve as studies for future paintings.

After years of personal turmoil, solitude and a spiritual transition from a repressive background I have realized this thesis. My ultimate motivation for painting is to offer humanity something I've not yet seen, a point of view that needs to exist, Art's own unified field theory.

-----------Tentative final draft-------

I am a narrative figurative painter. My work is charged with mystic symbolism tapping into the archetypes of humanity's collective unconscious. My aim is to evoke mass appeal without compromising my artistic vision.

The human mind finds its identity utilizing Cartesean dualism with the maxim “Cogito ergo sum”. Each individual in the audience's aesthetics are defined by their culture and experiences forcing them to ask “Should I like this?” Emotion, not reason rules in the visual arts affecting the viewer on a visceral level which is kept in check by reason and the solar logos. I strive to connect with them on a subconscious level by summoning up rich dream imagery eliciting personal meaning colored by their soul and tapping into Jung's collective unconscious. A place of madness and magickal archetypes which give new perspective in the empirical world. The language of artists, musicians and poets are drawn from this reservoir. Using the same language with different syntax, i.e. their medium, the great work acquires significance which transcends the ages.

An artist must play the role of psychopomp to capture attention. Rapt, they see form given to the formless with new venues and vistas laying open to their third eye which speaks directly to the heart. The success of visual stimuli upon the viewer depends on how deeply the artist transcends the conscious mind and achieves beauty.

The importance of extending the dialogue of human experience across lifetimes helped me choose the traditional medium of oil paint on linen. The academic foundation to my technique allows me to depict contemporary subjects with timeless visual language. The journey into this cycle of paintings began with Nativity in Black where I used an archetypal Stephen King antagonist as a starting point to a narrative arc. Working from intuition I incorporated symbolic language which defined the piece. The story of Dusk of the Dead captures the general mood of America during the 2008 economic collapse using the modern zombie myth as a framework. During the final stages of Dusk I began Black Rose Immortal which best expressed subtle, esoteric principles drawing correspondences between musical counterpoint and arabesque forms found in life and honored in fine art.

Music is a major source of inspiration for my work. I continue to channel its influence in each successive piece. Paint it Black was borne out of an anguished self-portrait morphing into an invocation of Hades. Depicting the myth of Persephone as she leaves the underworld returning life to the mortal realm as her consort suffers his personal winter of the soul. The Apostle in Triumph's title reflects the title of a favorite song. The Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn called this archetype Magus of the Voice of Light. I like that name, but gave it a name that implies one's attainment to enlightenment to ascendancy. The Hermit is in fact descending into our world from above, therefore its a veiled invocation of supreme consciousness -Veni Creator Spiritus. It's an intentional paradox so the painting is open to interpretation that plays with the witnesses. The resolution between “aboveness” and “belowness” is a mystery to be understood through subjective experience and dream logic. On a psychoanalytical level this painting shows how to harness inner light exposing the chaotic hidden forces in the enchanted forest of our unconscious. Only then can one acquire any level of self-actualization.

In The Truth I turned my attention back to my own past and expressed the pain of the soul crushed by organized indoctrination while hinting at individual free-will. Using the sophisticated occult symbolism harvested from my studies I've embarked on a project inspired by Aleister Crowley and Frieda Harris' Thoth Tarot. This project will bring together mysticism, Jungian psychology and modern science using the language of figurative art. My aim for this opus is to depict Truth veiled in Beauty beyond duality. The paintings included are the first in my future deck and will serve as studies for future paintings.

After years of personal turmoil, solitude and a spiritual transition from a repressive background I have realized this thesis. My ultimate motivation for painting is to offer humanity something I've not yet seen, a point of view that needs to exist, Art's own unified field theory.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Outside Now

It is important to me that people believe in my work. Its not out of the realm of possibility that I'm delusional and that my work only means anything at all to me alone. It occurs to me that my heaven and hell is my own, and perhaps it'll always be alien to the world. Worse yet, maybe my real fear is that its all kitschy like the 50's illustrations of political propaganda and that it'll never be seen by the general public as "high art" This could very well be true, and I should be ready to accept this possibility and settle for my art's significance to my own inner self at the exclusion of the outside world.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uOB6m8c8WI

These executives have plooked the fuck out of me
And there's still a long time to go
Before i've
Paid my debt to society.
And all I ever really wanted to do was
Play the guitar
'n bend the string like:
'reent-toont-teent-toont-teenooneenoonee'


I've got it!
I'll be sullen and withdrawn --
I'll dwindle off into the twilight realm
Of my own secret thoughts!
I'll lay on my back here 'til dawn,
In a semi-catatonic state
And dream of guitar notes
That would irritate
An executive kinda guy...

[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/outside-now-lyrics-frank-zappa.html ]

Well, I guess that one did the trick!
If they only coulda heard it,
Half-a-dozen of 'em woulda strangled
While they was suckin' on each others' dick!


But that was just a bunch of
Imaginary notes I played --
Just a little extra somethin'
To keep me goin' from day to day
But that's okay --
I'll be gettin' outta here pretty soon --
Then I won't have to live
In this ugly fuckin' room


I can't wait to see what it's like
On the outside now...

-Frank Zappa, Joe's Garage - Outside Now.

Zappa's first band, the Mothers, was said to have "no commercial potential"

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Requiem for Osiris

How does one communicate on the canvas the sense of dread our ancestors felt when the sun died? This miserable illusion, that a king must die a sacrificial death in order to bring the Sun and save his people. So powerful is this illusion, that even today, in the face of modern astronomy, there are still people who believe that it is the sun who is setting rather than us, earthbound, turning away from it's light.

This is one of those paintings I've been born to paint, call it karmic duty or whatever, it is painting itself. In the aeons of human existence, no other human being could've expressed precisely what I am capable of saying in this piece. Its definitely a unique point of view for the Deity. This is the ultimate expression of IAO, which is now replaced by VIAOV. A Requiem for all Requiems. Osiris, in the mind of the Pilgrim, is no longer a spiritual reality and is replaced by a lifeless inhuman form hanging on the cross. The womb of earth, and all the nightmarish ghouls trapped within are but a necessary night of the Pilgrim's own soul in his initiation into the next phase in humanity's spiritual development. I'm painting my own fucking nightmare, years of my life spent in suicidal depression, carrying a rotting corpse that was supposed to be my spiritual reality. Yet I'm not overtaken by this dread when painting it, because I know the freedom soon to overtake to the Pilgrim's consciousness in the form of the Falcon, Horus of the Two Horizons, and the Silver Star. This Requiem is the terrible gestation period for the Crowned and Conquering Child within my own self, Death here being the key to change, to Life. Here lies a great mystery not yet understood by the masses.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Extending Outwards

So why does it matter to me? Why should I reach out to people? How does outward relate to the inward?

I chuckle when scientists say that we're social animals, because there is a very strong anti-social aspect to my personality. Yet all my life, people have mattered to me. I grew up seeking approval from parents, teachers, role models and peers, using them as a general guides for approving or reproving myself. That would later change as I grew more alienated from society during college. But even in my infancy, there was always that part of me that wasn't of this earth, the daydreamer who couldn't be bother by others, even my loved ones. This is just one in my long list of paradoxes.

Lets be honest here, daydreamer I may be, but I've always been a show off. I've always strove to distinguish myself from peers. since childhood I've been competitive, a sore winner/loser, have always prized intellect alongside feats of strength and speed. In my earliest memories of test-taking, I used to finish my tests before the class just so I could flip the paper over and draw on it. Why? Not only was it fun but I hoped to impress the teachers into giving me a higher grade. I'm a showman but I was never the outright in-your-face kind of showy. I've always been more subtle. As a 30 year-old man this hasn't changed and understanding this aspect of my human self is the key to channeling it to my benefit.

To answer my previous question, why reach out to old/new friends on facebook and life in general? So that in my own subtle way, I am weaving the spell necessary for my work to germinate in the hearts and minds of all, starting with those closest to me. If I work for the benefit of humanity, would I not want as many of them on my side as possible? Besides covering the overhead cost, what is money compared to the power to bring fire to the hearts of men and women? Since I'm really being honest with myself, this is it. I want power. This begs the question: Does the Artist and the Magus share the same paradox, where in order to attain all power you must relinquish it, surrendering yourself to Love? I believe so.

I'm starting to fly again.

Anyway, to say that my artistic carrier is only fueled by an ambition for power would be way off. I often feel as though I have no choice over fate and creativity just "comes" to me, but I am aware of the power of art through the ages and know the potential role I can play in my age. I am slowly building the momentum that will make my artistic progress an unstoppable force. All the while remaining accessible to all, though probably understood by a few.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Artist Statement

I've completed my current artist statement after laboring over making myself appear to be clear and concise, without flights into the abstract, where I lose people.

Here it goes.

I am a narrative figurative painter, my work is often mystically charged with symbolism that attempts to tap into the archetypes in humanity's collective unconscious. In doing so, my aim is to subtly evoke mass appeal in my work without compromising my individual artistic vision.

While this sounds as though there is one universal formula for aesthetic experience of my work, it's not so simple. This elusive aesthetic experience is highly subjective, based on individual life experience and cultural upbringing. Its the reason why something like listening to Mahler's 8th symphony may move one person to tears and another to be simply bored to tears. To make matters worse, the human mind likes to identify itself as the sole identity of the individual as reflected in the words “I think therefore I am” The mind is a metaphorical watch-dog by which it believes that all sensual experience should be measured and judged by. It triggers responses like “should I like this?” In a modern society where rationality is so prized, an emotional or intuitive response to art may be often road-blocked by reason, effectively trapping it's beauty within the confines of its high tower. This trend can become downright unhealthy if the mind also blocks the natural flow of the irrational unconscious upon our rational consciousness.

Suppose you were to cross this barrier of conscious thought, you'd be flooded by rich dream imagery filled with personal meaning to the individual's life experience. However, venture far enough in the underworld of the unconscious and you will eventually arrive at what Carl Jung termed collective unconscious, a dream-scape of inherited collective memories of our species. Its a place where ancient shamans and priests were expected to be initiated into, delve into madness, face our archetypes, then return to our world enlightened. Its where the average person unwittingly becomes trapped into in a state of psychosis, unequipped to swim back out of this terrifying place where our collective gods, angels and demons reside. It's common visual metaphors are documented in all cultures in the form of universal themes within the human mythos. This is the language that artists, poets and musicians must master – consciously or intuitively, in order for their work to transcend the abyss of meaninglessness and reach the eternal, communicating esoteric truths about the human spirit across generations of human evolution.

The question still remains, how does one transcend the barriers of rational discrimination? In ancient Greek myth, Hermes, on his descent to the underworld to rescue Persephone, was said to have had to distract the three-headed hound Cerberus with honey cakes in order to move on to deeper realms. The honey cake is a metaphor for the artist's display of technical mastery and virtuosity at his particular medium, the means to satisfy the intellectual demands of our ever evolving brains. Its as though the artist must play the role of a snake charmer in order to communicate the ineffable. Its my firm belief that the success of visual stimuli upon the viewer depends on how much the art penetrates the conscious mind and resonates with the unconscious hidden truths about the Self. This is the place where the the seemingly opposites in the realm of rational thought converge harmoniously, transcending reason altogether, the house of Beauty.