My purpose exactly is not to "better" Crowley and Lady Harris' Thoth deck, but to bring some of its esoteric pictorial symbolism up to date with recent scientific discoveries using primarily the human figure as means of divine expression as it has been done since the Renaissance. A real observation, which Lisa agrees with, is the fact that much of the decks we observe, and she's collected are far more illustrative in its technique and stylistic approach than what you might expect from a fine figurative artist. In this statement, I'm not saying one is better than the other, but that there is an aesthetic imbalance. Why couldn't these supreme narrative archetypes of the microcosm and macrocosm be treated in greater reverence than little color pictures in cards? Something the eyes of the general public, unlearned on mystical symbolism could see as Fine Art (I use that term loosely given the conditions of post-modernist art)
If I'm not mistaken Harris' were actual paintings on canvases, in oils, a very traditional approach, and now the originals are probably in that hallowed status that one might hold a piece by Salvador Dali (not that I have a clue about monetary worth people give them.) The only appropriate medium for me is oil on canvas, for all the power of its traditional associations. For centuries artists have engaged in the preparation of their materials, the stretching of canvases, grinding their own pigments, a very intimate relationship with the production of this object, that would in turn, when completed adorn churches, palaces, and now museums. Hell... I'm pampered in comparison to the Old Masters, yet following some of the tradition of building these paintings is an act of weaving the spell in creating these objects of power, I earnestly pray, that my Love can be "read" in the reproduction of these paintings. I hope that through the Aeon, those who see them in person, are moved by them. Lisa tells me that I'm becoming a hybrid, half artist, half magus, if this is for the purpose of my True Will in doing these paintings, then I better not fuck it up!
One other unique point of view is that my conceptual deck may have is an underlying Aquarian point of view. Crowley and Harris were still in a very Piscean age, I however am a Aquarian artist who has experienced a real transition from the Piscean to Aquarian astrological Age of the planet. My intuition tells me that this is not a coincidence, and it imbues me with a sense of purpose. When I say "Aquarian age", however, I really don't mean any shallow fluffy bunny new age-ey-ness, but a serious hidden influence in the collective consciousness of mankind, coupled with the Aeon of Horus. Perhaps Aquarius is embodied in the universally beautiful arabesque figures I'm dreaming up for the majors so far.
Here is the problem I'm running into: I am overwhelmed by my mind, more precisely by the insecurity created by that which I do not yet know. Even if for 90% of other tarot artists, this is an intuitive process, coming from the cabalistic worlds above Ruach, the mind, I feel that I have to stretch my mind to the limits of its capabilities. I am uncomfortable when I discover some hidden truth while the painting is in progress and see that its already there but I wasn't aware of it. It gets worse if I feel the need to change something according to my new discovery. Crowley guided Harris near the end of his life, with all that he had experienced and learned. I am a Fool in the truest sense of the word, trying to be a Magus. I have to keep studying and meditating.
In two years I've found spiritual liberation and my path to enlightenment, for the past year I've been studying with the purpose of finding my True Will, now I have the momentum of the Universe behind my Work. This higher purpose continues to help me shed that stereotypical artistic ego. Now I seek nothing for myself from this project, but glory on behalf of the Human race, praised be Horus the Conquering Child for ever and ever.
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